Please Do Now:
Today, students will:
- Review common errors from final drafts.
- Discuss the differences between news writing and features writing.
- Brainstorm Features story ideas.
Tonight’s homework is:
- Join the Features group on Beachcombers Unite
- On your blog, post 3 ideas for features stories. Describe the angle you intend to take and what information you will need to report each story. Pitches should be approximately 1 paragraph long.
30 responses so far ↓
allisonnovack // October 13, 2008 at 5:16 pm |
1) Students ask about the new athletic code.
before: 12 after: 7
2) Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor offers practice quiz bowl sessions to prospective members.
before: 16 after: 13
3)The Blazers first football game of the season fell on a record high temperature day.
before: 22 after: 15
4) This springs Dramatic club play, “Too Late or Too Little,” will offer five male, and seven female parts.
before: 22 after: 18
5) If the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters, activities such as athletics and music will be cut by the Byrnehurst Board of education.
before: 28 after: 25
RayL2012 // October 13, 2008 at 5:17 pm |
97: Students are asking questions about the new athletic code.
Mr.Dale Swiggart offers practice quiz bowls sessions to prospective members
98: 3) Record high tempeture emitted at the Blazer’s first football game
4) 5 male and 7 female parts will be given out for “too late or too little”
5) The Byrnhurst Board of education voted on eliminating extra curricular activities
patrickquinlan // October 13, 2008 at 5:19 pm |
1. students asked many questions about the new athletic code. (Difference of +3)
2. Mr. dale swiggart, team advisor to the practice quiz bowl, is offering sessions to prospective members. (difference of 0, but it sounds more like journalism)
3. The blazers played their first football game of the season while temperatures reached record high. (difference of +7)
4. this springs’ dramatics club play, too little or too late, will offer 5 male and 7 female parts. (difference of +4)
5. If voters don’t pass the upcoming school levy, the Byrenhurst board of education will cut activities such as athletics or music. (difference of +7)
xkatastrophe // October 13, 2008 at 5:20 pm |
Part A.
1. Students ask many questions on the new athletic code.
2. Practice Quiz Bowl sessions are offered to prospective members by team advisor, Mr. Dale Swiggart.
3.Blazers’ first football game of the season on a day with record high temperature.
4. Five males and seven females will be offered parts in the spring Drama Club Play, “Too Late or Too Little”
5. Athletics and music will be cut by Byrnehurst Board of Education if the school levy is not passed by voters.
brittanywaserstein // October 13, 2008 at 5:20 pm |
1. Students are questioning the new athletic code.
Before: 12
After: 7
2. Team advisor, Mr. Dale Swiggart is offering Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
Before: 16
After: 14
3. Blazers football team played their first game when the record high was reached by the temperature.
Before: 22
After: 16
4. In spring, Dramatics club play offers five male and seven females, parts in “Too late or too little.”
Before: 22
After: 18
5. If Levy is not passed by voters, the Byrnehurst Board of Education will eliminate the extracurricular activities, such as music and athletics.
Before: 28
After: 22
jessicaw2010 // October 13, 2008 at 5:21 pm |
1.
Before: 12 words
Students are asking questions about the new athletic code.
After: 9
2.
Before: 16
Team advisor, Mr. Dale Swiggart is offering Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
After: 14
Excercise 1A
3. The first football game was played by the Blazers when the record high was reached by the temperature.
Before: 22
After: 18
4. Five male and female students are being offered parts in the spring play “Too Little or Too Late.”
Before: 22
After: 18
5. If upcoming school levy is not passed by voters the Byrnehurst Board of Education will cut extracurricular activities like athletics and music.
Before: 28
After: 22
Part B.
1. The new menu for school cafeteria food is being planned by the committee headed by Miss Harriet Garvey, considering complaints made by students.
Before: 36
After: 23
7y13r // October 13, 2008 at 5:22 pm |
1. Students are asking questions about the new athletic code.
-2
2. Mr. Dale Swiggart,team adviser, offers Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
-3
3. The temperature reached a record high during the Blazers’ first football game of the season
-7
4. This spring’s Dramatics club play, “Too Late or Too Little” will feature five male and seven female students.
-4
5. The Byrnehurst Board of education will cut activities like athletics or music if the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters.
-6
alicel2011 // October 13, 2008 at 5:35 pm |
Part A
1. Many questions are asked by students about the new athletic code.
2. Practice Quiz bowls are offered to prospective members by Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor.
3.Blazer’s first football game of the season played on a day a record high temperature was reached.
4.This spring Dramatic club play offered tweleve students- five male and seven females- parts in “Too late or Too little.
5. I the up coming school levy is not passed by voters Byrenhurst Board of education will cut extra curricular activities as athletics and music.
felicia dejean // October 13, 2008 at 5:39 pm |
1. Students asked many questions about the new athletic code.
before-12 after- 9
2.The team adviser is offering practice quiz bowl sessions prospectice members.
before-16 after- 11
3.The Blazers played their first football game the same day that thier was a record high temperature.
before-21 after-14
4.This springs Dramatics club play “Too Late or Too Little” will be offering twelve parts for students.
before-22 after-17
5.The Byrnehurst Board of Education will cut activities if voters dont pass the levy.
before-27 after-14
Kelsey Sumalla // October 13, 2008 at 5:40 pm |
Before word count: 12
After word count:7
Students asked many questions about athletic code.
Before word count: 16
After word count: 14
Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor, is offering practice perspective members practice Quiz Bowl sessions.
Before word count: 22
After word count: 13
The Blazer’s first football game was played when temperature reached a record high.
Before word count: 22
After word count: 17
“Too Little Too Late”, this spring’s Dramatics Club play, is offering five male and seven female parts.
Before word count: 28
After word count: 16
The Byrnehurst Board of Education will cut extracurricular activities if the voters don’t pass the levy.
rachelcoller // October 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm |
1. Students asked many questions about the new athletic code.
Before:12
After: 9
2. Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor, is offering prospective members Practice Quiz Bowl sessions.
Before: 15
After: 13
3. The temperature reached a record high the day that the Blazers played their first football game of the season.
Before: 22
After: 19
4. “Too Late or Too Little,” this year’s Dramatics play, is offering 5 male and 7 female parts.
Before: 22
After: 17
5. The Byrnehurst school board will cut programs like music and athletics if the voters don’t pass the levy.
Before: 28
After: 18
hkramer14 // October 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm |
1.The students asked many questions about the new athletic code.
Before: 12
After: 10
2.Mr. Dale Swiggart, the team advisor, is offering Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
Before: 16
After: 15
3.The temperatures reached record high as the Blazers played their first game of the season.
Before: 22
After: 16
4.The spring’s Dramatic play, “To late or Too Little” will offer twelve students-5 male and 7 females-parts.
Before: 22
After: 19
5.Byrnehurst Board of Education will cut activities like athletics and music if the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters.
Before: 28
After: 21
hrynor // October 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm |
1. Many questions are being asked by students about the new athletic code.
Students asked many questions about the new athletic code._____________________________
Word Count: BEFORE 12______ AFTER 9_______
2. Practice Quiz Bowl sessions are being offered to prospective members by Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor.
Practice Quiz Bowl sessions are offered to prospective members by Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor._______________________________________________________________________
Word Count: BEFORE 16 _____ AFTER 15_______
3. The Blazers’ first football game of the season was played in a day when record high was reached by the temperature.
The temperature reached record high during the Blazer’s first football game of the season.
Word Count: BEFORE 21 _____ AFTER 14_____
4. Twelve students – five male and seven females – will be offered parts in “Too Late or Too Little,” this spring’s Dramatics Club play.
This spring’s Dramatics club play, “Too Late or Too Little,” is offering five male and seven femal parts.
Word Count: BEFORE 22 _____ AFTER 18_____
5. Such extracurricular activities as athletics and music will be eliminated or cut by the Byrnehurst Board of Education if the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters.
Athletics and music will be cut by the Byrnehurst Board of Education if the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters.
Word Count: BEFORE 28 _____ AFTER 22_____
laurenpeterson1 // October 13, 2008 at 5:41 pm |
1. Students are asking many questions about the new athletic code.
Before: 12 words
After: 10 words
2. Mr. Dale Swiggart, team adviser, is offering Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
Before: 16 words
After: 14 words
3. The temperatures reached a record high as the Blazers played their first game of the season.
Before: 22 words
After: 16 words
4. This springs Dramatics Club play, “Too late or too little” will have 12 students in it, 5 male and 7 female.
Before: 22 words.
After: 21 words
5. If upcoming school levy is not passed by voters the Byrnehurst Board of Education will cut extracurricular activities like athletics and music.
Before: 28
After: 22
madisonjsanders // October 13, 2008 at 5:44 pm |
1. Many questions are being asked by students about the new athletic code.
– Students ask questions about the new athletic code.
-word count
-before= 12
-after= 8
2. Practice Quiz Bowl sessions are being offered to prospective members by Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor.
-Team advisor, Dale Swiggart, is offering prospective members Practice Quiz Bowl sessions.
-word count:
-before= 16
-after= 12
3. The Blazers’ first football game of the season was played on a day when a record high was reached by the temperature.
-The temperatures reached a record high as the Blazers’ played their first football game.
-word count:
-before= 22
-after= 14
4. Twelve students – five male and seven females – will be offered parts in “Too Late or Too Little”, this spring’s Dramatics Club play.
-”Too Late or Too Little”, the Spring play from the Dramatics Club, is offering 5 male and 7 female roles.
-word count:
-before= 22
-after= 20
5. Such extracurricular activities as athletics and music will be eliminatied or cut by the Byrnehurst Board of Education if the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters.
-The Byrnehurst Board of Education will eliminate or cut extracurriculars if the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters.
-word count:
-before= 28
-after= 20
molliee // October 13, 2008 at 5:46 pm |
1. Many questions are bieng asked by students about the new athletic code.
1. Students ask many questions about the new athletic code.
word count:
Before- 12
after- 9
2. Practice Quiz Bowl sessions are bieng offered to prospective members by Mr. Dale Swiggart, team adviser.
2. Practice Quiz Bowl sessions are offered to members by team advisor Mr. Swiggart.
word count:
before- 16
after- 13
3. The Blazers’ first football game of the season was played on a day when a record high was reached by the temperature.
3. The Blazers played thier first football game of the season while temperatures reached record high.
word count:
Before- 22
After- 15
4. Tweleve students- five males and seven females- will be offered parts in ” Too Late or Too Little,” this springs Dramatic club play.
4. “Too late or to little” the springs dramatic club play will be offereing parts.
word count:
Before- 22
after- 14
5. Such extracurricular activities as athletics and music will be eliminated or cut by the Byrnehurst Board of Education if the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters.
5. Extracurricular activities wiil be cut by the Board of education if the school levy is not passed by the voters.
word count:
before- 28
after- 20
allisonnovack // October 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm |
1) The new menu for school cafeteria food is planned by a comittee while taking student complaints into account, headed by cafeteria manager Mrs. Harriot Garvey.
before: 36 after: 25
2) Stimulated air raid drills were held in Mr. Dale Darts American History classes to show how students during the Cold War in Russia acted if the enemy attacks were being made on US mainland.
before: 46 after: 34
jessicaw2010 // October 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm |
2. Students in Mr. Dale Dart’s American History class were showed how to take part in air raid drills in preperation for attack on U.S. mainland during Cold War with Russia.
Before: 46
After: 31
3. Mrs. Pamela Early, dean of students said that socializing between class needs to be stopped so tardiness to classes is successful.
Before: 23
After: 21
4. Administrators are eliminating Senior courtyard privileges because rights have been abused. Teachers are complaining about too much noise and school custodians about discarded trash.
Before: 38
After: 24
5.
felicia dejean and tyler crane // October 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm |
1. A committee headed by Mrs.Harriet Garvey, are making new menus due to student complaints.
before-36 after-14
xkatastrophe // October 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm |
Part B.
[Katrina Rios & Alice Lavado]
1. New menu is being planned by a commitee headed by cafeteria manager, Mrs. Harriet Garvey, because of student complaints.
Before: 36 After: 19
2. Students took part in air raid drills during the Cold War and Russia in Mr Dale Dart’s history class.
Before: 46 After: 19
3. To control tardiness Mrs Pamela Early, dean of students, says socializing before classes must be targeted.
jessekirk11 // October 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm |
1. Students are asking many questions about the new athletic code.
12:10 words
2. Mr. Dale Swiggart, team adviser, offered practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
16:13
3. The Blazers played their first football game of the season on a day when temperature reached a record high.
22:19
4. The Dramatics Club will offer twelve students-five males and seven females- parts in this spring’s play, “Too Late or Too Little”.
22:22
5. The Byrnehurst Board of Education will eliminate or cut such extracurricular activities as athletics and music if the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters.
28:26
1. Cafeteria manager Mrs. Harriet Garvey is heading a committee that is seriously considering the student complaints about the school cafeteria food. A new menu is also in the planning process.
2. Mr. Dale Dart’s American history classes held simulated air raid drills to show how students had to take part in such drills during the Cold War. They did so in order to be prepared for a Russian attack.
3. Mrs. Pamela Early, dean of students, stated that the school must target students’ socializing between classes before controlling tardiness to class.
Rachael Varnish // October 13, 2008 at 5:49 pm |
1. Students are asking many questions about the new athletic code.
Before : 12 After: 10
2. Mr. Dale Swiggart offered Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
Before: 16 After: 11
3. The Blazer’s played their first football game of the season while temperatures reached a record high.
Before: 22 After: 16
4. Five males and seven females will be offered parts in “Too Late or Too Little”, in this spring’s play.
Before:22 After: 19
5. The Byrnehurst Board of Education is going to eliminate extracurricular activities if the voters do not pass the levy.
Before: 28 After: 19
madisonjsanders // October 13, 2008 at 5:50 pm |
1. The complaints that have been made about the school cafeteria food are being taken into serious considerations while the new menu is being planned by a committee, headed by cafeteria manager Mrs. Harriet Garvey.
- Cafeteria manager Harriet Garvey’s committee is taking serious considerations about student complaints while constructing the new menu.
LyssaG2011 // October 13, 2008 at 5:52 pm |
Students are asking many questions about the new athletic code.
Before: 12 After: 10
Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor, offers Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
Before: 16 After: 13
The Blazers played their first football game of the season on a day when the temperature reached a record high.
After: 20
This spring’s Dramatics Club play, “Too Late or Too Little,” offers parts to twelve students, five males and seven females.
After: 20
The Byrnehurst Board of Education will eliminate or cut such extracurricular activities as athletics and music if voters do not pass the upcoming school levy.
After: 25
The new menu-planning committee, headed by cafeteria manager Mrs. Harriet Garvey, has taken the students’ complaints about the school cafeteria food into consideration.
After: 23
Mr. Dale Dart’s American history classes held simulated air raid drills to show how students took part in air raid drills during the Cold War with Russia, preparing for enemy attacks made on the U.S. mainland.
After: 36
The administration is discussing elimination of senior court yard privileges because of accusations about abused rights, teachers’ complaints regarding noise in nearby classrooms, and school custodians’ concerns with discarded trash.
After: 30
Juanita Sanchez, Byrnehurst senior, will represent the school in a citywide seminar on Tuesday, March 5, held to coordinate activities for the Summer Peace and Fun program.
After: 26
Mrs. Pamela Early, dean of students, wishes to target socializing between classes in order to control tardiness to class.
After: 19
RachaelVarnish // October 13, 2008 at 5:57 pm |
1. Mrs. Harriet Garvey and her committee are planning a new school cafeteria menu due to the complaints that have been made by students about the food.
Before:36 After: 26
2. Mr. Dale Dart’s American history class simulated air raid drills so they would be prepared if Russian attacks were made on the U.S.
Before: 46 After:23
3. Mrs. Pamela Early, dean of students, wishes to target socialization between classes to control tardiness.
Before: 23 After:15
4. The administration may eliminate senior courtyard privileges due to complaints from teachers and school custodians concerning noise and discarded trash.
Before: 38 After:19
brittanywaserstein // October 13, 2008 at 5:57 pm |
PART B
1. A new menu is made with, serious consideration, by a committee with head cafeteria manager, Mrs. Harriet Garvey because of students complaining about the school cafeteria food.
Before: 36
After: 27
2. Air raid drills were held in Mr. Dale Darts American History class, so students would experience how these drills were dealt in the Cold War with Russia if enemy attacks on U.S. mainland.
Before: 46
After: 33
3. Dean of students, Mrs. Pamela Early says, in order to control tardiness, socializing between classes must stop first.
Before: 23
After: 18
4. Administration discuses elimination of senior courtyard due to abused privaleges and complaints by teachers and custodians about noise and discarded trash.
Before: 38
After: 21
5. On tuesday, March 5, Juanita Sanchez, Byrnehurst senior, is representing the school in a citywide seminar, discussing coordinating activities for Summer Peace and Fun Program.
Before: 34
After: 25
nadineg2012 // October 13, 2008 at 6:30 pm |
1) Students are asking many questions about the new athletic code.
Before: 12
After: 10
2) Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor, is offering prospective members practice Quiz Bowl sessions.
Before: 16
After: 13
3) The Blazers played their first football game of the season on a day when temperatures reached a record high.
Before: 22
After: 19
4) The spring play, “Too Late or Too Little”, is offering parts to five male and seven female students.
Before: 22
After: 18
5) The Byrnehurst Board of Education will cut activities like athletics and music if the voters do not pass the upcoming School Levy.
Before: 28
After: 22
For Nadine, Patrick, Ray, Kelsey, Rachel, and Helen:
1)Mrs. Harriet Garvey’s committe is seriously considering students’ complaints about the school cafeteria food, while planning the new menu.
Before: 36
After: 20
2) Mr. Dale Dart’s American History classes held simulated air raid drills like the ones students participated in during the Cold War with Russia.
Before: 46
After: 23
3) Mrs. Palela Early, dean of students, wants to target socializing between classes before implementing efforts to control tardiness to class.
Before: 23
After: 20
4) Following teachers’ complaints about noise and custodians’ complaints about trash, the admistration is discussing limiting senior’s courtyard priviliges.
Before: 28
After: 18
5) Byrnhurst selected Juanita Sanchez, senior, to represent their school in discussion about coordinating activities for the Summer Peace and Fun Program during Tuesday, March 5th’s city-wide seminar.
Before: 34
After: 28
carmenk2012 // October 14, 2008 at 11:35 pm |
PART A.
1. Many students are asking questions about the new athletic code.
Before: 12
After: 10
2. Mr. Dale Swiggart, team advisor, is offering Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
Before: 16
After: 14
3. The Blazers’ played their first football game of the season on a day when the temperature reached a record high.
Before: 22
After: 20
4. This spring’s Dramatics Club play, “Too Late or Too Little,” is offering parts to twelve students- five male and seven female.
Before: 22
After: 21
5. If the voters do not pass the upcoming school levy, Byrnehurst Board of Education will eliminate or cut extracurricular activities such as athletics and music.
Before: 28
After: 25
PART B.
1. Harriet Garvey, cafeteria manager, has taken students’ complaints seriously and is heading a committee that is planning a new menu.
Before: 36
After: 20
lenac2011 // October 15, 2008 at 6:25 pm |
Exercise A.
1. Many students are asking questions about the new athletic code.
Before: 12
After: 10
2. Mr. Dale Swiggart, team adviser is offering Practice Quiz Bowl sessions to prospective members.
Before: 16
After: 14
3. The temperature reached record high the same day as the Blazer’s first football game of the season.
Before: 22
After: 17
4. This spring’s Dramatics Club play, “Too Late or Too Little,” offers parts to twelve students, five males and seven females.
Before: 22
After: 20
5. If the upcoming school levy is not passed by voters, the Byrnehurst Board of Education will cut or eliminate extracurricular activities such as athletics and music.
Before: 28
After: 26
lenac2011 // October 17, 2008 at 12:40 am |
Part B.
1. Mrs. Harriet Garvey, cafeteria manager and committee head, is planning a new menu due to complaints made by students about the school’s cafeteria food.
Before: 36
After: 24
2. Mr. Dale Dart’s American history classes held simulated air raid drills to show how students took part in air raid drills during the cold war with Russia and how to prepare for enemy attacks made on the U.S. mainland.
Before: 46
After: 39
3. Mrs. Pamela Early, dean of students, stated that socializing between classes must be targeted before efforts to control tardiness to class can be successful.
Before: 23
After: 24
4. The administration is discussing the elimination of senior courtyard privileges due to accusations that the rights have been abused and complaints have been received about noise from teachers in nearby classrooms and discarded trash from custodians.
Before: 38
After: 37
5. For the Summer Peace and Fun program, Juanita Sanchez, Byrnehurst senior, will represent the school in a citywide seminar (which will be Tuesday, March 5) where coordinating activities will be discussed.
Before: 34
After: 31